The Concert Constitution

Concerts are awesome. But that goes without saying. They’re a great way to get closer to the music you love, bond with friends and dance. However, many concert-goers don’t all play by the same rules. Often times, there’s that one annoying person who ruins it. Either they push in front of you, won’t let you stand in front of them even though they’re a foot taller than you or kick you in the face while crowd surfing. I’m taking this plague of concert douchebaggery into my own hands and creating the official Concert Constitution, an official denotation of concert etiquette. Those who are not in the mosh pit like it that way. Mosh pits are dope, but exponentially un-dope when you’re there against your will. Go HAM, but attempt to keep your arms and legs inside the pit. The borders between the pit and everyone else can be blurry, but attempt to respect those who are making a clear effort to move away and/or avoid the pit. Additionally, the pit should never reach the barricade. If you are not in the band, don’t crowdsurf. I know, guys. I’m sorry. No one pissed in my Cheerios this morning, I just have strong concert morals. Fun for one does not constitute pain and displeasure for many. Crowd surfing looks fun and exhilarating, but I cannot count the amount of times I have seen bodies dropped on heads or feet to the face. I’m sure it’s fantastic and I, myself, would love to try it, but I don’t because my body weight is not an unexpecting stranger’s responsibility. Please don’t push your way to the front as if you’ve earned it. This one should be obvious. Generally, the people at the front were there first. They waited in line. Don’t skip the opener and then expect to be let into the crowd or towards the front. Get there two hours early like everyone else or accept your place in the back. Be aware of your surroundings. Dance hard, as hard as you can, but keep an eye on your limbs. The people around you want to have just as much fun as you are having and being an inconsiderate crowd-goer with limbs with minds of their own can hinder that. Be aware of your hair. Unruly locks can be a side effect of dancing, head banging, jumping, et cetera. But if your hair is long, please pay attention to it. I don’t think anyone wants a stranger swallowing their hair, and I don’t think anyone wants to swallow hair. If someone looks as if they’re going to faint, clear the way. Just move. It makes me sad when you film the whole show. Take some pics for the Gram, post a Snapchat, text your mom, I don’t care. But don’t film the whole show. This rule has many exceptions. I’m specifically talking to people at the barricade or relatively near the front who are watching the show through their phones. Life hack: If you look up the location and date of the show on YouTube, chances are someone else filmed and uploaded it. So you don’t even have to film it! Respect the band, the venue and the staff. And please respect the opener(s). Please. If you break any of these rules, purposefully or not, simply be aware and apologetic to those around you. Have fun! :-) Honestly, despite all this, do whatever you want. Concerts aren’t a place to be policed, they’re a place to release your inhibitions and have fun. But just know, if you’re an ass, you’ll be seen as such. So just avoid kicking people in the face.